#maybe till the weekend
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oough can I request ivantill pretty please...š„ŗ
If till doesnāt want Ivan I can take him
#my art#alien stage#ivantill#tillivan#Ivan alnst#till alnst#I habe quite a few Ivan sketches that Iāll probably post on the weekend#maybe even digitize some of em#anyways bottom Ivan truthers wya š
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up next on chapter 36 of idol sengenā¦ _(:3 ćā )_
#(my toxic trait is that iāll complain about my work endlessly but still end up doing it anywayā¦ eventually.)#thereās rant 1 (ft. a need to deduce what asuna is saying in full) and rant 2 (which is available in full but stillā¦)#thereās also another mona-rambling session in chapter 38ā¦ that im not touching with a 50 foot pole#(all you need to know for that mona-rambling [about frusu] is that monaās frusu oshi is all of them)#(and that she thinks miyu is like *the* pinnacle of centres in idol groups)#(also someone won a junior dance competition but idk who bc itās obscured lmao)#can i outsource these panels for a corn chip lmaoooo#m. maybe i shouldāve actually worked on this while i was still unemployed last month huhā¦#bc excuse me company wdymmmmmm im starting work next monday?? the interview was just this monday hello?#ig the interviewer was legit when she said āso if i asked you if you can start work next mondayāā huhā¦#sighā¦ maybe ch 36 next month thenā¦ iāll do my best over the weekend thoughhhhh#seriously though why is this volume so text heavy l m a o i really wanna get to chapter 40 butā¦#and then thereās the hard to clean text boxes whichā¦ aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#ā¦though i guess i should just count myself lucky that the chapters are still short enough to fit into a single post (with the image limits)#but dang. i just realised that my manga sengen thing has a page on manga updates lmao#who put it there lmaooooo and why is it only up till vol 2? wait. no. what. why does it link to manga.dex#bc dang. someone really had the time to dl the thing image by image? no wonder why they stopped after vol 2ā¦#guess i might as well say why i dont want people to reupload my tlsā¦ since weāre in the final stretch and all#so. aside from the obvious āidw the creators to find out about itāā¦ i probably made a ton of mistakes while tling it. esp in the early chaps#so iād like to. yāknow. have the chance to update the tls where possible. iāve done that a couple of times already tbh.#like with rippeiās name post-vol 4 release. and some of the typesetting is p. gross in the early chaps tbvh#i swear tling idol sengen has made me incredibly conscious of grammar and typesetting like you wouldnt believe#esp with official tlsā¦ fan tls will always be perfect to me no matter how wonky the wording bc itās hard but honest work yk#official tls (esp a.i tls) get no concessions from me bc itās their job that theyāre getting paid to do yk.#in any case (if youāve read this far) if you see any mistakes in the tl please lemme know~~~ please dont hold back on your criticisms ok~~~?#just sound āem out in dms here or sth. donāt worry~~~ i wonāt eat yāall if you try to correct me~~~~~ unless youāre the md reuploader (jk)#and ik i disabled comments on the other blog (or tried to at least) but thatās bc idw bots to flood the comments bc thatās annoying as heā#anyways sorry for the idol sengen wait (if anyone was waiting for itā¦) iāll improve on my work ethicā¦ tomorrow. maybe.
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š§āāļø how is it midnight last time i looked at the clock it was 10pm and that seemed like 15 minutes ago
#mari says#i wanna sleep i wanna party let me go out to a club i dont know what to do MAYBE KARAOKE?#its monday night but it feels like a weekend cause i took that nap earlier#i wanna shower but i cant till morningš§āāļø otherwise i run the risk of smelling like blood at work š grody#sleep it is i suppose
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they should make a life where you don't have appointments, work, school and scheduled events every single day for months on end
#i just wanna spend like 2 full days rotting in bed is that too much to ask#december i'm going on a vacation with family + gf and we're trying to schedule a lunch/dinner so that we can go over the itinerery#and other stuff like my gf is diabetic so she's going to tell everyone the procedures in case of an emergency etc#and the soonest i'm available for that is oct 20th like bruh#every week day i've got classes 7:30-11:50 work 13:00-17:00 and then gym therapy or futsal practice at night#oh and sometimes the professor that i'm the student assistant (? monitor in pt) for wants me to go to her night classes#and then on weekends i've got futsal practice sat morning usually a match either saturday or sunday legal advice clinic 4x a semester#and then birthdays friend group meetups (with ppl i haven't properly seen in a WHILE so i don't wanna bail) family stuff or gf's family stu#oh and i take care of the finances of our futsal team so there's that as well#and then when i'm free i spend my time with my love (who i mostly see on either day of the weekend and sometimes for dinner on weekdays)#those are my favorite āappointmentsā i love spending time with her so much but even though we have quite a few staying in dates we also#pretty frequently go out to cafes restaurants parks meet up with mutual friends etc#so like... no bed rotting ever adfdsal#honestly i am not THAT busy compared to some ppl that i know#like i work from home most days of the week commute only 20 min to college am not a part of any study group etc etc#but man... that vyvense sure is working cause i do not think i would be able to do what i do now when my adhd was unmedicated#also i'm thinking of maybe getting a new internship next year cause even though i love my current one it's in public law which atm#is the field i'm thinking of getting into after school but getting into private law in brazil with only public law uni experience is#incredibly difficult. so i wanna be 100% sure i actually want public law. which means experiencing private law.#which means a private law internship#so i'm wondering how the fuck imma be able to pull that off next year#at least it pays much more than my current one! like probably double!#but honestly even with all the shit that i do and wishing i had more time for myself i've actually been so happy lately#i'm learning more at uni than i used to be able to i do pretty well at my internship i've got wonderful friends both old and new#my family is well and we get along like always i switched positions in futsal and am doing suprisingly good as a goalkeeper#and i'm in my first ever relationship. it's been almost 8 months till we made it official and it blows me away how good it's been#like we haven't faught once. disagreed on a couple things sure. but not a single fight and tbh even disagreements are very rare#idk we communicate and give each other grace and i just feel so loved. she knows me so well. i love her so so so so much.#like man just this saturday we were having an early dinner at a bakery. she stopped what she was saying and just stared at me smiling#and like i couldn't hold eye contact. cause she's so so fucking beautiful and she was looking at me with so much love and i had to look awa
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send help guys i need to play a very complicated piece that i started learning A WEEK AGO in front of an ENTIRE SCHOOL HALL OF CHILDREN AND ADULTS ON MONDAY
DUDE I CAN BARELY PLAY IT MYSELF IN MY HOUSE WITH NO ONE WATCHING LET ALONE WITH AN AUDIENCE???!?!?!? FUCK
#i am kinda flattered that i was chosen tho :]#all the kids there will be from my primary#and its gonna be like āhey kiddos if you keep trying maybe one day youll be this cool!!!ā#the adults are their parents#i gotta stay after school till 4 then play it#im fucking terrified#there goes all of my weekend plans
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bad buddy music in 23.5 degrees: ep2
(ep1 | ep3 | ep4 | ep5 | ep6 | ep7 | ep8 | ep9 | ep10 | ep11 | ep12)
in episode 2 of 23.5 degrees there was a total of one (1) pieces of royalty free music that have been featured on bad buddy too:
meet cute ā clarence reed
youtube
bad buddy timestamps:
ep4 pt3 - 0:19 / 9:00
ep5 pt1 - 4:34
ep7 pt1 - 3:46
ep8 pt1 - 11:20
23.5 degrees timestamps:
ep1 pt1 - 2:06
ep2 pt4 - 4:13
ep4 pt4 - 0:42
ep11 pt2 - 3:45
#23.5#23.5 music#23.5 ep2#23.5 degrees#23.5 the series#bbs#bbs music#airenyah's thdrama music collection#adrm#sorry this is late i've been traveling and going to classes and getting ready for a weekend in the mountains and easter break at home#the post with the ep3 music will likely also be super later bc as i said i'm going to the mountains this weekend#and idk when i will have time to shazam my way through the ep#or when i will have time to watch the ep at all#i might not be able to watch it till sunday or monday#we'll see maybe i can find a quiet hour or two to watch it
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So yeah avoiding my phone didn't work and also meant I sat on the kitchen floor staring into space for about 3 hours before Alfie woke up but hey at least I didn't break anything
Them being around is helping a little but they're also struggling and it fuckin sucks bc I know we're both just. Rotating money stress in our minds
#like. i went out earlier to get bread#just bread bc we cant afford anything else#got just enough in the bank to cover the work thing but since management stjll hasnt gotten back to me on HOW to pay it its like#our electricity is already in debt lol it has a thing where you can go Ā£10 into debt before it switches off#and it usually wont switch off over weekends#presumably bc all but 1 places nearby thst we can top it up at are shut on weekends but anyway#so we're like. okay. it MIGHT last today and if it does thst SHOULD mean itll last till monday.#but then itll be at least a tenner in debt#then we only have to last till thursday but its. do we keep this money thats for The Thing that is once again unclear on how urgent it is#or do we spend it on the Soon To Be Immdiately Urgent thing#and thats not even CONSIDERING food lmao we. i got 2 loaves of bread so we can at least survive on toast for a few days#we got 3 maybe 4 meals worth of stuff still in the kitchen#like...at this point i dont even care if i have to go a few days without eating at all to make it to thursday but its.#its so fucked up those are the terms im thinking in#and this isnt asking for more donations i really cannot take that today im at the fuckin bottom of my barrel#and already feel hopeless and useless and an active drain to everything around me#but its. like. how. why. why is it still like this. why is it looking extremely unlikely its ever gonna change.#whats the point if its all for a few scattered handful hours of actual peace and comfort never mind happiness#tldr yes i am once again suicidal but small s#like in the sense of i would feel immense relief if a truck came at me on my way to work tomorrow and would not step out of the way but#dont have it in me to actually consciously act upon
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I am literally dying inside for no reason
#opening sick leave for 3 days would be great like fr#I'll wait till Wednesday maybe so it combines with weekends#that'd be like the best shit ever ngl#the issue is I'm not sick (at least with anything noticeable)
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Mini hiatus alert.
#i feel like im being annoying and need to pull away for a bit#no clue how long it will last#maybe till the weekend?? maybe a few weeks?? maybe a month?#who knows i just need a moment#high possibility i am going to silently linger on Mobile so i can keep up what happening#but post from me will be limited
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I. I forgor to colour the flower on my previous fanart šššš
#Iāll be editing it soon Iām so sorry just wait till I get on the plane but then I wonāt be able to upload so actually wait like. 20 hours#or so#maybe more#sorry Iām cringefail#Iāll also draw the other prompts in the plane so please send me anything you want in the next three hours because all Iāll do during#my flights is draw and be scared shitless#and I know planes are safe. Iām literally a physicist (theoretical but still. Iāve taken some fluid mechanics classes)#itās irrational as phobias tend to be#thoughts and prayers for my hand and armpits that will sweat the volume of a small dog today š#goodbye Japan! itās been fun those past 5 months (says the guy who worked 12 hours every day including weekend)#anyway. Iāll stop rambling!
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going to the V&A on a day when taylor swift is performing: MISTAKE
#the logic was that 'oh its a monday so itll be quieter than the weekend. most families wont arrive till later too!'#i forgor about the swifties#also did not realise just how spread across the museum the trail is#everywhere i went. a queue#shout out to the staff tho that were very helpful to me navigating through spaces#bc god knows the access points were not left clear#anyway. was worth it nonetheless#nyxtalks#i mean. maybe its just been like that the entire time the trail is up. or at least for the last week or so. i can only speak on today#it was bad#ngl friends. even if she was my most specialest artist in the world i would not queue up 40+ minutes per exhibit for that#ppl were getting like. 5 seconds and then shuffled on. at like 14 stops.#i probably got almost as good of a look just trying to get past the other way#nightmareeeeeee
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this story doesn't exist for me beyond this point in Retrace 92:
everyone is back home safe, the world is saved and they have another tea party, The End!
#friendship ended with ph#bsd s4 is my new best friend#pandora hearts#may-reads-ph#retrace xcii#aka pain#[EVERYONE READ PANDORA HEARTS AND FALL DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE OF ANGST WITH ME]#i am crying#for real i am crying#this is cathartic#i have never had a good cry in a looong time so oh well#i will read the rest of 10+ chapters later ig#deciding to read these last arcs altogether in one shot was a mistake#maybe some day i will make more coherent posts bc this story has truly plenty to write about#an incredibly beautiful and deep story will forever be on my mind#update: i made this post the other day when i finished till this point i don't have it in me to continue further lmao ;-;#i made a lot of screaming drafts while reading idk what to do with them#i think i will clear out the drafts and post them altogether maybe this weekend#so please block may-reads-ph tag if you don't want to be flooded#def not today bc waiting for another clown to be animated
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i am going insane i fear
#debating on going on antidepressants again#i cant take this!!!!#im not seeing my therapist this upcoming week cause she didnt want to overwhelm me (i have a busy weekend) but i NEED to see her#maybe ill call her and schedule anyway#or i can wait till my appointment but idk if this can wait#I AM ROTTING FROM THE INSIDE
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keep sending in!!!
#no hockey tonight means im just rewatching modern family#which is like my i pay attention maybe 1/4th of the time#+ my best friend is coming for the weekend so ill be super busy till Sunday!
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hehe i got the job :3
#thatās it that's the post#bye bye uni life#last friday was my last internship and then my supervisor asked me if j would like to continue work there for another 3 months#and of course i said yeah !!!!#i got the offer letter from HR#itās been a fun experience but maybe a bit tiring with the 30 minutes - 1 hour of long drives required to get there and back home#but you know a guy gotta make bread am i right?#anyway besides that i'm currently working on a bunch of art wips just keeping myself busy at night#im still fasting and another two days left till the end of ramadan and the start of eid!#gonna be busy with my family and visiting relatives home :3#hope everyone have a lovely weekend!#potato.post#text
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the other day i was cleaning out my stuff again to declutter again and I found a really old list of reasons why I wanted to stop smoking back in like. 2018. it was so sad. i didn't take picture and it was actually a few weeks ago but it was just so clear it had such a hold over me and still kinda does
#im getting better thooo#i only smoke a few times a day. maybe three at most#most days i forget to#esp on the weekends#i just completely forget#and also when i smoke at night now I just feel so sick#so so fucking sick#i close my eyes and it feels like Im spiraling downwards out of control#i literally live out my real username#it hurts so bad#besties i grew up with sotmach issues my whole life and with headaches and nausea all the time#i hate it#and it makes me like that#when i close my eyes#as im trying to sleep#but if i dont smoke before bed then i staay up till 4-6am#but i do that anyway#idk#it ruins yourlife actually
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